How to interact with your (civil) lawyer

Never hired a lawyer before? The social conventions can seem confusing. Here’s a few tips for how to maintain a pleasant relationship with your lawyer. 

If reaching out for the first time, send one email to whatever address is indicated on a lawyer’s website or via the contact form on their website. Don’t email or call multiple times, and definitely don’t text. Wait two weeks. If you don’t hear back in two weeks, it’s reasonable to email again. 

If you’re already a client, it’s reasonable to allow your lawyer two business days to respond to your emails. Same for voicemails. If you want a phone call, email the lawyer or their assistant and ask to schedule one. Again, allow 48 hours for your lawyer to find a scheduled time that works for both of you. It’s rude to send emails where you demand a response within a certain timeframe.

Try to be on time to appointments with your lawyer. If you’re early, it’s normal that you may be asked to wait in a waiting area until your appointment time. If you’re late, let your lawyer know you won’t make the appointment on time. Your lawyer may have blocked off a certain amount of time for the appointment, and they may have other commitments that aren’t flexible. It’s normal to need to have a very short appointment or reschedule if you’re running late. 

If your lawyer says something costs a certain amount, that’s what it costs. Your lawyer will understand if you can’t pay, but they can’t work for free. It’s fine to say “sorry, I can’t pay that. Thanks anyway”. Don’t say or imply their fees are unreasonable—it implies that you don’t think their time is valuable. 

If you know you won’t make a payment deadline, let your lawyer know in advance and give them a realistic timeframe for when you may be able to pay. They will often be happy to work with you, but communication is key.

If you want a file update, don’t cold call. Email and ask. In most situations, your lawyer will contact you when there’s a file update, so it’s unnecessary to ask frequently. 

Many lawyers are compassionate people, but your lawyer isn’t a counsellor or a mental health professional. It’s fine to express frustration to them, but it’s a little awkward to use your time with them to vent your emotions in an extended way. They sometimes don’t know how to stop you without seeming cold or harsh. If a lawyer tells you “that’s all the time I have today, talk later”, don’t take it personally. You should expect your lawyer to be polite, but don’t be surprised if your lawyer has boundaries around their time and energy.

Your lawyer is not your friend. In fact, they have an ethical obligation not to be your friend. If you feel so inclined, small tokens of appreciation for them such as flowers or cards are fine. No large gifts, please. Your lawyer may be ethically obligated to refuse a large gift, which is awkward for everyone. Also, don’t invite your lawyer to social events or try to hang out with your lawyer outside work. 

As general rules, be polite, show up when you say you will, maintain a reasonable but not excessive level of communication, and try to pay your bills on time. Also, use email rather than phone whenever you possibly can. Your lawyer is a person with limitations too!